HIM

Everything seems to be settled down. Sometimes, it hurts me though. The wound is creeping still. I'm missing him. I found no reason to look for him, talk to him. I don't even have the courage to send message, a caring message. Why our distance becoming larger? I don't know what to talk to him other than "I miss you".

I'm assure and telling myself that I wouldn't find anyone who can replace you.

I become so coward.

为什么当初说爱我

跟镜子对望
多希望时间可以  一转眼就过
很想死
空虚的心灵
剩下的都是 你所需下的诺言 一一被锁死
发疯似的哭过
冷静过
最后还是一样
这一切一切都是事实 我接受不到
伤心到谷底的为什么是我
得不到幸福的为什么也是我
我很不想面对现实 因为现实实在太残忍
脑袋一偏空白 仿佛世界就快末日
仿佛还是昨天  可是昨天已经太遥远

承诺永远不能兑现
为什么要来我的世界夺走原属于我的快乐， 让我一个人就好，为什么当初要爱我，为什么当初说爱我。 就让我一个人就好。 当我要你的时候 为什么你那么狠心 为什么
爱一个人不是说走就走， 被掏空的心要怎么还回给我
注射的记忆要怎么删除

心情

伤心难过是难免的，不舍的心情。。 

流泪，同情我没资格。。

[[可惜不是你]]

感谢那是你，牵过我的手，还能感受那温柔

曾经

快乐的日子总是过得很快，11月了。我们一起大该有11个月了。很可惜的这段感情结束了。

难过伤心是有的，不舍得有能怎样。 人总要往前看----- 

所有关于你的一切一切 暂时收在一边。     眼泪， 只能留在没有时才可以“释放” 。 

我不小了， 一切都要靠自己。 今天，是我练习学车第三天。我很努力了，学得满头大汗，手都脱皮了还继续。 我相信我一定行，一定行！ 我知道我有很多很多事不能去做因为我不会驾车。 我很自卑又懊恼。 由此，我常为了某些事而委屈自己。我会为自己争气一点，我不会再让任何人看不起！ 为了我的梦想与未来， 我一定要成功！不会让这小事成为我的绊脚石。。

曾经--曾经的你，曾经牵过的手，发过的梦。 虽然如今不能再握你的手一起走未来的路， 但我很感谢我可以遇见你  给我那麽多的欢笑，我真的很开心。

谢谢你的爱

很想说对不起

今晚，我们又大吵了。我狠狠地咬了他一口。我想他一定很痛了。我心也很痛，我很想跟他道歉可是我怕。我不知道我该怎么办。

我很气他因为他莫名其妙地发我脾气 好几天了。我还`气他不记得他对我说过的话。 

有些人永远都不会知道，他的一句话，我会记得很久；他的一个不以为然的承诺，我却苦苦守侯。 他 说过的，无论是对话或 emails 我全记着。他曾说了一句话，我听了就感动落泪， 他并不知道。 我，也在等待这一天的到来，哪怕几年后。 

很想说对不起 。。。

生活是甜的，未来也是甜的？

什么事情都会雨过天晴。

擦干眼泪，什么都不记得。

心碎了，一颗一颗捡起来

慢慢地拼回

一个人望着那漆黑的夜空

脑袋空白

我到底怎么啦

我的心    真的很痛很痛

我该怎么办

我想今晚是我和你在一起半年里

最难过的一天

也许太爱你吧

也许得不到信任吧


我入不了眠

眼睛都肿了

凌晨4时 ， 我睡不着

明早不上课了

胃又抽筋，我身体好累， 头好晕

心更痛

“生活是甜的，未来也是甜的” ， 这句话用来骗人的

I'm feel so sorry for tonight. I made you so sad and can't proceed ur works. Sorry, thousand of sorry I want to say. I know I m still like a kid, thinking like a kid. Always think negatively and think so much of nonsense. Please forgive me dear. I always speak something hurt you and myself too. I really don't mean to hurt you. Every time right after we arguing I feel like I don't want this all to happen again NEXT TIME ! But, I don't know what happen to my nerves will start to disturb my emotion and I will find something to argue with you. So sorry dear. I know chances are not always give twice, again and again. I also know this argument and quarreling gradually destroy our relationship. I really hope I won't be so childish again! I please myself Penny Wong, be more mature ok! I hate you always make your love one unhappy.


Sorry :(

Love is Understanding

The worse thing in the world is the person who you care the most and the trustful person of you do not UNDERSTAND you!!! You used to share everything with him, but in fact he doesn't know that how important he is for you. He is everything for you. You will do everything immediately for him, for his good. But, everything seem to be wasted. He doesn't know about it.

I tried to hide my emotion from him so that I won't spoil his mood when he is working and he will not worry for me. Yet, I feel like all this while what I did doesn't work at all. I feel so disappointed for myself. I tried to maintain and keep this relationship but everything seems so FAILED!

I have SO MUCH things to tell you but you hv no time to listen for me. When I talk you started to fed up. Sometimes, I really have no idea what should I do to be a qualified gf. You know how heart broken am I when I saw u fed up and mess up with ur stuff? I feel like I'm so useless, I can't lend u my hand when you are in mess.

I tried to be more tolerant, be more patient, and I've been waiting you will be treated me better after you solving your problems. You did. Yet, the same problem happen again when you are in mess. And I don't know what should I do next. Everything seems get tougher and tougher. Is it I too care about your feeling? Am I do so much?? 
I love you so that I do so much of thing involve changing myself so We can maintain our relationship and a long lasting love.  Everything only comes ONCE. Life is short. I do not want to regret for my rest of my life again.


I know you well. I understand your situation.
But you should try to understand me ..

A good relationship should have mutual understanding and tolerant. 

Hateful

To what extent do you understand your girl friend?? 

I'm so sad, I'm crying..I find nobody to speak with!

Sometimes, I really dun know what should I do when I m sad. 

And I just want to share with you. But You never know it.

How much I need you right now? When Im mad,im stress, who do I talk to? 

I dun trust anyone. I feel like I don't hv a close fren. Every single word I just want to tell you, DO you know?

They hurt me, they ignore me.. The world is ignoring me! 

Where are they!  

I just want to end up all this! How wish I could just take up a knife and cut it off! Do not need to care for anything anyone. Im tiring with this world. Sicking World sicking people! 

Im sick too.. 

No one understand me!

爱情

爱情这东西我不懂！

爱你却不能拥有你的全部

但我可以给你我的一切

爱情这东西是永远没有平衡点

给得太多就会不珍贵

是不是得不到的永远是最珍贵呢？

爱情如果一松手，就什么都没了

如果抓得太紧却让对方不能呼吸

一切都要刚刚好。

怎样说才是刚刚好？

我不会我真的不会

我只会关心你，为你下厨。我好像什么的不会了。

害怕

原来我最害怕的不是

黑暗

鬼怪

死亡

而是哪天你不在我身边了

我害怕哪天你不再爱我， 保护我

我害怕你不再理我

我害怕你从此消失在我眼前

我害怕你对我做了一个很冷酷无情的选择

常常

我都再担心这

我好害怕这种感觉

无助的，心痛的，绝望的

那种感觉就像梁静茹这首歌： 

【想念是会呼吸的痛】

。

。

。

L for LIFE

I have not been sleep well this few days.. 

The stupid assignment and MUET test are driving me mad! 

Sometimes, I really can't make up my mind what should do 1st, what thing should come after. 

I mess up the schedule. 

As you know, I'm punctual people, I want everything in my life in a regular manner, hopefully everything will be in a routine basis! LOL..

I know it is impossible ..hehe..Actually I'm lazy, I do not want my schedules which I have planned properly change. I lazy to reschedule it again. 

Time is so precious for everyone. I not gonna waste a single simple thingy to affect my whole day plan.

 I will fed up with it, is very very annoying. 

Sometimes, this would make me moody and lost my concentration on doing other things. LOLx.. I always have a lists of schedule in my mind, my daily activity sounds robotic.haha.. 

Today is Saturdaay, i shall have gather with my whole family, get together for dinner at home/outside.

 I had my dinner with my family at home, watching Taiwan TV show, laughing together ♥ 

As normal, after dinner we will have our leisure time outside either Pasar Malam nor my relative's homeee. It's like 21 years, I have such habit on every Saturday nite since I was small.

 I love to live in this way ....

 

Hmm..it's the second last day bb at Guang Zhou, I looking forward for you to come back real soon. I hope I would be the 1st person you meet when you reach in airport. 

Yet, I can't make it and give you a surprise. Sorryyyy! This is because I have class in the Monday afternoon 2pm, and I dun know how to go Puchong to meet up wtih your sis so that I can go together with her to airport.. 

Anyway, we make our date on the next day(Tueday). 

Yeahhh~suddenly feel bit of nervous..lol..

It has been almost 3 months we never meet each other.. 

Ohhh, it's longgg.. 

Anywaay, the toughest days have passed! 

I miss you bb  ♥ 

I gonna give u a biggest warming hug !!!

APRIL FOOL

Today is April Fool! I bet you all will be fooled by ur frens! Yes, I fooled by my roomate..LOL  

It is April Fool, so it's ok to cheat/ fool people or being cheated..haha! Have fun what ..

But .....

sometimes during April Fool, doesnt mean all the people will fool you. Yesterday, i was chatting(sms&mailing) with bb. We were arguing for something and he asked for break up.

 I thought he was kidding with me you know. 

In fact, he annoyed and really mean to it.

 I was so depress and upset. 

A list of planning for our future suddenly like collapse. 

I was like a lost man. I dun knw what am I going to do next. 

As I have clearly visualize our future in my mind. 

I was depressed and disappointed for myself as I failed to be a good gf which I thought I am nearly perfect. In fact, I am not a good gf for you. 

I dun knw how to support you, encourage you when you oversea. 

But, I'm like creating problems and nonsense for you to make you more stressful. 

I am so bad! 

 I was doing  Business Research assignment with my frens in library.

 However, I can't concentrate on what I am doing. 

I throw alot of questions to myself, why ? 

Why I still is a failure people, I always make thing worse, make people upset for me, make people worry about me! 

What the hell I am doing huh? I'm 21 this year, why can't myself doing something more constructive and productive ???? 

I do not want to repeat all the shityy things I did before!

 I love you and I wan to do everything good for you so you will feel comfortable to stay together with me.. 

I want you have a unforgettable memory in ur life which is the time u spent with me.

 I want you feel how lucky and how happiness you are to have me! 

You are nearly PERFECT for me you knw??? 

Somehow, I do hurt you with my tones of voice, word of mouth ..

I'm so sorry bb .. 

Actually, I am too care for you so I will upset when you are saying something bad while you in a bad mood. 

Please forgive me ;)

I love you 

♥

W.H.y.

我们人往往总爱对自己爱的人， 在乎的人发脾气
搞得自己心情变差
是不是越在乎那个人， 他反而越不在乎你呢？

Indirect Relationship??? 

这些事是非常复杂的，
不能用什么SPSS system 就能计算出来了！
有时候 真的觉得做人难






现在的我真的很难过 ..

11 days

11 days to go!

 I really miss you so much!

I hope I can hug u now 

BB faster come back lahhhhhhhhhh~

hehe

Guang Zhou

Finally, you leave Malaysia. He is in Guang Zhou on business now! I gonna miss you for about 3 weeks, 20 days! What a long period! 

I'm looking forward for you to come bck!

:*

You made me smile (:

I love Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday! It will be the time for us to meet up.I had good and enjoyable days with you this few days yet im hoping the happy moments with you would never end! How good it is If we could stop at these happy moments! I hope I can stick with you 24hrs. I wanna hug you tightly~
However, time flies very fast. It is Monday again, a tiring week starts. I hate Monday!! And I hv a lot of works to rush by. Sigh..
Another sad thing is bb is going to fly to Guang Zhou, China in this coming Thurs. He will be coming back on 11th April!!! It about 19 days I can't see him. (19days are not short, I must be miss him badly!) Oh gosh, I think I'm gonna mad withing these days. I miss you! This will be the 1st time we not meet with each others for so many days. I guess it would be more to come in future ):

Alright, till then, night!

Two is better than one ♥

I ♥ you so much~

about you ♥

I think I should spend lil time on write about this though I am busy with my F assignments and mid term exams.

I'm blogging about him, the only  and the special one ♥ ~
He is the only person I ever met, he shows all his love and cares for me always. He understands me. Sometimes, I'm thinking that : "Am I dreaming?" I got touch on everything you did, everything you spoke. I'm touch. I love you so much. I love you more than anyone I love. I care you more than everyone could be. I want to tell you I want to love you every single day, I want you occupy my dream every night. I want to hug you. I want to squeeze ur hand. I want to stick with you forever!
You are the man I was awaiting for and I will never let you go!!!!

I LOVE YOU bb ♥

Valentine's Day~

情侶，最好的不一定合；但能夠合适的已經是最好。

<3

不知不觉我又恋爱了

为什么【不知不觉】呢？因为没想过他会是我男朋友。

这次，我会谨慎的“经营”这爱情了，

前几段恋爱弄的我一个头两个大

累坏我啦~

我变得快对爱情死了心

每每看到那些情侣甜滋滋的，

我脑海就会浮现许多坏的概念

比如： "他们很快就散啦“、“ 一定其中一方有外遇” 等等的。。

我对爱情快灰了~

此外，

我的择偶条件愈来愈高，

1. 要有钱 $$$

2. 要开名车

3. 高学历

4. 最好是professional

我很在乎这些，

其实太在乎，就什麼也得不到

也不开心

真所谓： 简单就好

當你太在乎一样东西的時候，你的心裡能裝的下的東西就變少了

於是，你喪失了自我，人自然也活得不开心了

我要的是开心，快乐，没有拘束的生活

我要每天都笑，最好笑个不停，因为每当我可以尽情的大笑

就觉得什么烦恼我都抛到九霄云外去了

这样多好~
<3

还有

有时候很多事情不是你想要你就会得到，

有些人你很喜欢但不一定适合你

就好像摆在窗柜里的长裙一样

漂亮又高贵，还有钻珠的点缀

矮个子的你根本穿不上它
就算把它买下也没有用
根本不适合嘛

情侶，最好的不一定合；但能夠合适的已經是最好。
很多事情
真的要在合适的時間出現，做了合适的事，遇上适合的人
这才可说是
   真正的完美！