L♥ST

We have been together for 1 month's plus.

Our relationship starting to fade and change since we together.

Many small issues , argument and misunderstand starting to pop out.

The problem now is he rarely has time for me.

I know the fact he loves me but he just not able to put his words into action.

  Everyday, I wait for him to finish done his work in college or spending his time with his frens then waiting him for having dinner together as this is the only time i can see him normally. 

(since I eat alone normally.)

But, sometime I'm like the one who waiting for the whole day just to wait him finish his work so we could see each other. 

But, he always thinks that I like to rely on him or stick with him everyday. 

Okay. Then, I purposely find a fren or few to accompany eat with me even I know that fellow is my admirer or I just get to know them. 

  I have been learning to tolerate and also trying to understand his situation. 

Sometimes, I even thinking of ending up this relationship. 

We only meet each other like 4-5 times in a week for about 1hours + which we having meal together.  

Mostly, he come and find me for dinner. 

Just that 1hour's + only. 

I wanted to share my feelings and talked about what I've been thro but when I see him, I couldn't speak out cause I feel time is limited. 

I only have 1hour's and I don't want to use it on just talking all those 'past' incident that happen to me. 

So end up I dint say it out. 

And those feelings and things are like buried or hide in my heart one after another time ..

Many times tried and talked to him about it, explained how lonely and hurt i feel whenever he does not have the time for me. 

But, he had his own words on why he was doing so. 

 But did you ever notice your lover is in pain and sadness every single day?

Don't you care to at least ask her why?

I always cry before I go to bed.

I do abnormal things to grab his attention like cry, taunt him at times. 

I have gone to the extent of doing stupid things too. 

I do feel guilty about being selfish, not considering his fatigue and need to sleep and end up thinking it is my fault..

but then, should he give me at least some time to spend together? that we could at least talk and share things together? becuz everytime we spend together are with his frens as well~ 

1 full 24hr day with me and that is all I wanted. 

But he also failed to do so. 

I spend most of my time with my friends and do many things to pass my time. 

I really don't understand why he still dun understand and wan to blame on me !!

Till today my heart just cant stood still since the past. 

There is many feelings deep down in my heart that I would like to share with you but you were not here with me.

  Heart broken again and again. I am extremely tired of such life. I was almost to give up !

You was the one to bring me up but you brought me down ! 

Misunderstanding and argument happens!

Communication and patient is flying away. 

I just don't know how to describe my feelings. 

I don't know how to heal and move on anymore. 

And , I fear that I let go the only best thing that can ever happen to me. 

 I fear to fall in love again, cause I know how much the pain cost and how hurtful !

Lots of emotions but limited time are wrapped in this relationship and I believe that this is a sign to see how you handle the situation and some emotional issues. 

 As I can see , you were all at your own thinking and me too.

Its like never end and we never find a solution for it, how ever its too late!

Seriously I wish you will talked about our problem altho it will get fire sometime , but I think is much better then you just make an instant judgment on people! 

In this situation we were given a test. 

The real test of any relationship is how you face these obstacles or misunderstandings. 

But, we both failed !!  heart left broken . . 

I'm so grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much ,But I know this much is true
. . . because I was loved by you

 ♥