害怕

原来我最害怕的不是

黑暗

鬼怪

死亡

而是哪天你不在我身边了

我害怕哪天你不再爱我， 保护我

我害怕你不再理我

我害怕你从此消失在我眼前

我害怕你对我做了一个很冷酷无情的选择

常常

我都再担心这

我好害怕这种感觉

无助的，心痛的，绝望的

那种感觉就像梁静茹这首歌： 

【想念是会呼吸的痛】

。

。

。

L for LIFE

I have not been sleep well this few days.. 

The stupid assignment and MUET test are driving me mad! 

Sometimes, I really can't make up my mind what should do 1st, what thing should come after. 

I mess up the schedule. 

As you know, I'm punctual people, I want everything in my life in a regular manner, hopefully everything will be in a routine basis! LOL..

I know it is impossible ..hehe..Actually I'm lazy, I do not want my schedules which I have planned properly change. I lazy to reschedule it again. 

Time is so precious for everyone. I not gonna waste a single simple thingy to affect my whole day plan.

 I will fed up with it, is very very annoying. 

Sometimes, this would make me moody and lost my concentration on doing other things. LOLx.. I always have a lists of schedule in my mind, my daily activity sounds robotic.haha.. 

Today is Saturdaay, i shall have gather with my whole family, get together for dinner at home/outside.

 I had my dinner with my family at home, watching Taiwan TV show, laughing together ♥ 

As normal, after dinner we will have our leisure time outside either Pasar Malam nor my relative's homeee. It's like 21 years, I have such habit on every Saturday nite since I was small.

 I love to live in this way ....

 

Hmm..it's the second last day bb at Guang Zhou, I looking forward for you to come back real soon. I hope I would be the 1st person you meet when you reach in airport. 

Yet, I can't make it and give you a surprise. Sorryyyy! This is because I have class in the Monday afternoon 2pm, and I dun know how to go Puchong to meet up wtih your sis so that I can go together with her to airport.. 

Anyway, we make our date on the next day(Tueday). 

Yeahhh~suddenly feel bit of nervous..lol..

It has been almost 3 months we never meet each other.. 

Ohhh, it's longgg.. 

Anywaay, the toughest days have passed! 

I miss you bb  ♥ 

I gonna give u a biggest warming hug !!!

APRIL FOOL

Today is April Fool! I bet you all will be fooled by ur frens! Yes, I fooled by my roomate..LOL  

It is April Fool, so it's ok to cheat/ fool people or being cheated..haha! Have fun what ..

But .....

sometimes during April Fool, doesnt mean all the people will fool you. Yesterday, i was chatting(sms&mailing) with bb. We were arguing for something and he asked for break up.

 I thought he was kidding with me you know. 

In fact, he annoyed and really mean to it.

 I was so depress and upset. 

A list of planning for our future suddenly like collapse. 

I was like a lost man. I dun knw what am I going to do next. 

As I have clearly visualize our future in my mind. 

I was depressed and disappointed for myself as I failed to be a good gf which I thought I am nearly perfect. In fact, I am not a good gf for you. 

I dun knw how to support you, encourage you when you oversea. 

But, I'm like creating problems and nonsense for you to make you more stressful. 

I am so bad! 

 I was doing  Business Research assignment with my frens in library.

 However, I can't concentrate on what I am doing. 

I throw alot of questions to myself, why ? 

Why I still is a failure people, I always make thing worse, make people upset for me, make people worry about me! 

What the hell I am doing huh? I'm 21 this year, why can't myself doing something more constructive and productive ???? 

I do not want to repeat all the shityy things I did before!

 I love you and I wan to do everything good for you so you will feel comfortable to stay together with me.. 

I want you have a unforgettable memory in ur life which is the time u spent with me.

 I want you feel how lucky and how happiness you are to have me! 

You are nearly PERFECT for me you knw??? 

Somehow, I do hurt you with my tones of voice, word of mouth ..

I'm so sorry bb .. 

Actually, I am too care for you so I will upset when you are saying something bad while you in a bad mood. 

Please forgive me ;)

I love you 

♥